Do-Over

My broken boob has been on the mend for 10 days now. Most of the pain is under my arm however I think all that will change tomorrow when I go back in for more surgery. When you reopen an excision it causes a bit more pain according to my surgeon.
The pathology report showed that the margins were not clear in the upper portion of the tumor so my surgeon will go back in to remove more stuffing. She said the other option would be a mastectomy but she recommended we try this first. I am confident in her ability to get the rest of it tomorrow. She said most breast centers go back for re-excision 50% of the time. At this hospital they go back 20% - 25% of the time so I know they have a better record for getting clear margins. Needing a re-excision doesn't change the survival rate either.
Doc Esther said I seemed to be taking the news well. I didn't think it was a big deal but she wanted to throw a brick through the monitor. I know she was disappointed that the chemotherapy didn't shrink the tumor very much. I guess I should be upset too and can't figure out why I'm not a raving lunatic at this point. Maybe I've been meditating too much. Maybe it's from the hundreds of people praying for me that brings me such peace. I have never felt as loved as I do now.