Planning Our First Event

Christie is a creative woman who has many, many wonderful ideas.  When she feels a project coming on, the wheels start spinning, ideas start flying and thoughts are written down on anything handy.

See that  book of notes?  If you remember, you are lucky....(joke).....what I was going to say: If you remember, there is such a thing as chemo brain.  It is hard to hold onto a thought.  We just have to write down everything! One page has a sentence written on it, but it is upside down on the page.  It was funny to watch her when she noticed it, "huh, wonder how that happened."

See that phone in hand?  It has the latest technology, apps, internet connection and all.  Constantly ready to keep the ideas rolling ... at all 24 hours of the day.

The current project is our very first event ~ A celebration of our win against breast cancer.  I can guarantee that with Christie's ability as a public speaker and teacher, this will be informative with a flair of wit, laughter and thought-provoking revelations.

So, where do I come in?

Well, I'm the "sounding-board", the ying to her yang, and the organizer of these ideas.   Not the planner, (not going to happen), the organizer.  My hundred years of office work will come in handy as we begin to lift off the non-profit inthistogether.org

Oh, how I love Microsoft OneNote!!! (check it out if you haven't seen it).  That is my job this weekend. Creating our notebook, sync it on sis's computer and teach her how to navigate.

She is going to LOVE it! 

After this event, we will welcome feedback, collect more ideas, tweak it here and there and then .... take it on the road.

In between all of that, we are looking for our Board of Directors.

The divine appointments over the past few weeks have multiplied.  We are both meeting women who want to get involved by using their God-given talents.  As they tell us their stories of their own journey or of a loved one, an instant connection is made.  And, of course, a hug is freely given ~

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Tamoxifen - 1 week

One o'clock in the morning - after waking up ump-teen times, I decided to stay up for a bit.  Took 2 more pain pills and logged on.  I've had some inquiries about the effects of the Tamoxifen.  Can't say it is any better than Arimidex ... yet, it's only been a week. 

The pain is intense and I just wish I could describe it in a way to make myself understood.  I'm trying not to let this show at work and when I come home in the evening, I collapse.

My bones feel like they have been smashed by a sledge-hammer.  The shredded pieces like glass in my hands, arms, knees, legs, feet, ankles.  Today, my left elbow feels like I hit it against something hard.  I'm still bruising very easily. I'm hunched over like I'm 110 years old.  It is worse in the morning, and now seems to carry throughout the day.  I'm starting to have menstrual pains (I don't have a uterus and no cycles for 11 years).  What's that about?  My surgery sites (original surgery, plus nodes under my right arm, and reconstruction on my left side) all produce stabbing pain.  Sometimes the pain hits unexpectedly that I "yelp" out loud.  That can be embarrassing in public.

I tenderly hold my hands, softly rubbing to help ease the stiffness.  My neck and back ache so much.

So, this is the medicine to keep cancer away.  It sucks.

I've completed year 1 of 5 ~ can I endure 4 more?

 

I'm falling apart

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Arimidex vs. Tamoxifen

I have been taking Arimidex since August 2012. As the months go by, my pains are more extreme. My husband is the only one I really "show" just how bad.  After all, I'm in remission. I should be "all better now". That is what most folks think. They don't understand that poison streamed through my body killing cancer cells AND my good cells.  It takes time to repair, it takes time to get your strength back.

I don't mean to sound so whiny

I am very grateful that I have made it this far through "my journey".  I do try to have a smile on my face, stay out of "my bubble" and focus on others (thank God for the type of job I have),  and I get up every day to go to work.  I have to.  The mornings are the hardest .... that is when the pain is the worst.

So, Sept 12 I had a visit with my favorite oncologist to discuss my meds.

Quality of Live VS Recurrence 

Taking the estrogen blocker will give me a 40% chance of keeping cancer away .... at least this type of cancer.  I'm HER2 protein positive and estrogen receptor positive.  Just a little aggressive and mean-spirited.

Doc changed my meds to Tamoxifen, stating that I should start to feel  better in about a month and the bone pain will not be a side effect.  She said that the worry would be blood clots, uterus cancer (don't have one of those, so I should be good on that count).   I came home and looked it up on WebMD to read the reviews from other patients.  Looks like the same kind of complaints as Arimidex patients.

They don't call it "practicing medicine" for nothing!

I've given my life to God and I will give Him this too.  My church family gave me a prayer cloth anointed with oil and their prayers.  It is precious to me.

I'll be sure to keep you posted .... still living in the moment, each day at a time.

What Rock do you stand on?

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Thrive!

Tonight was a long time coming .... A celebration dinner with my good friend "M" and my sister, Christie.  M & I had planned to get together after our treatments were done to celebrate coming through to the other side (M was diagnosed 2 days before I was).  When Christie was diagnosed, we then decided to wait until the three of us could come together and make a toast to success!

Tonight was it! Panara's.... yummmmm

I was thrilled to introduce the 2 of them and tickled pink when we giggled like school girls as we shared our more humorous stories.  And the conversation doesn't always have to be about cancer.  We shared about our families, our learnings from our experiences and how it changed our outlook in life (ok, alot of it was "because of cancer") and just enjoyed each other's company. 

Chemo brain was a huge part of our laughter as one of us would start a thought and then forget what we were going to say... and then the other 2 would have to try to remember key words of what was being said in order for the memory to jolt back into the moment.  If you don't get it, don't worry about it!  It truly is a memory loss that only a chemo cocktail can promote!

I thought it very interesting when M said she didn't think of herself as a survivor, but as a thriver. 

No matter what your circumstance

 

Everyone should strive to thrive!

 

 

 

 

 

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Happily Ever After

For several years I had been hoping one of our wedding anniversaries would be worthy of a cruise. When the 20th anniversary rolled around in 2008 Richard had lost his job, we'd lost my sister, Cathy, among several other loved ones and frankly, didn't feel like celebrating.

So, I set my sights on our 25th anniversary, but inadvertently joined the BC Club. When we calculated all of my treatments and discovered I'd be finished 2 weeks before this special anniversary, neither one of us could even begin planning something that far in the future, especially when we didn't know what the future would hold.

Yesterday we decided to get away for the weekend even though I'm feeling kind of tired from the radiation. So, this morning I found a castle in Hocking Hills with an enchanted forest full of cabins. I am so happy that we made it this far and have each other. I am a very lucky girl to have my knight in shining armor, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Now, I need to go pack!

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I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

A friend of mine shared this with me.  I just thought it was perfect for everyone and especially those who are going through cancer diagnosis. 

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Follow-up Appointments

The morning of July 23 was certainly busy.  My follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon was 8:30 am.  He announced that the tissue sent to pathology came back clear. All Right!  The swelling has gone down some and he was pleased with the work he had done.  He left the room and the nurse proceeded to remove the surgery tape with tweezers and small shears, and snip the long pieces of stitches.  I left there feeling a little tender and raw.

No more appointments for the plastic surgeon! Yay!

I made my way to work and then had to leave again for my follow-up appointment with my oncologist.  It has been awhile since being there and I walked into the place to see much change ... reconstruction.... the place had more room and organization.  Doc was also impressed with the breast reduction. 

"No more leaning to the left!" she said. Funny Doc! 

We discussed my current state of being as she recorded it on the computer system.  I saw my history of the last 18 months and we had a good chat. The smile on her face was enough for me!

I can remember her saying,

 "You will be able to fire me in 5 years". 

My next appointment isn't until November 2013. Nice!

I feel like I have come out of the depths of hell and am now renewed as my healing continues with each new day.

May peace be with you ~

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Finished With Treatment

We celebrated the last day of radiation treatment on Thursday, July 25th. I asked Carol if I could start tracking my anniversary. This would be easy to remember because it's Dad's birthday.

I bought an angel food cake and made pink Cool Whip frosting. I couldn't help noticing how the cake resembled my broken boob:

The hole in the center is where the tumor use to be. The surface showed the battle scars and unevenness. And it's pink from the radiation burns!

This has been a long journey but I've learned a lot about myself. I am a better person because of this experience and can only look forward to the new normal. They say that when you have cancer everyone around you is affected. I'm so lucky to have my family by my side. I couldn't have made it through the journey without them. There are many friends who were affected by my cancer too. They kept me in their thoughts and prayers and encouraged my family along the way. It was tough for everyone.

But we made it!

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Woe Is Me

I know it's been a while but I feel like my brain is fried. It's difficult to write more than a few words at a time. I think the fatigue is starting.

I'm still getting radiation but only have 5 more to go!  I look like I have a sunburn and sun poisoning on the entire breast, chest/neck and shoulder/back area. It's very itchy and sore but should start clearing up soon. I'm looking forward to getting this part over.

I've been so busy with a new endeavor and convinced Carol to be a part of it too. We are finishing the last details of a new website and combining our blogs into one. You know how you've asked if you could do anything to help? Well this will give you the opportunity you've been looking for! We will unveil the entire project in just a few days!

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Back to Work!

Tomorrow is my first day back to work since June 28.  Getting butterflies in my tummy, which seems to happen after being off for awhile.  Never know what I'm going to face when I get there (kinda hard to describe).  But, I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be!

This month makes 1 year since my radiation treatments ended. I think that is long enough to make a decision. Most of the bleeding/seeping has stopped, and the bruising is slowly clearing up.  Still looks like Frankenstein! I don't regret the procedure, even though sometimes it feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat (too graphic?)

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Saturday, we had a wonderful get together with extended family from my father's side.  It was great to see everyone again....it seems once a year now.  There is also an emptiness in our hearts for the ones that have moved far away and for the ones who are now in spirit.  The world keeps turning and we keep getting older. 

It reminds me of one of my favorite songs that I have posted before. It makes you think about your own legacy.

Nichole Nordeman - Legacy 

My sister and I are developing a website.  Christie is the brains of the operation and my husband is working on logo ideas.  We hope that it will be helpful and hopeful to breast cancer patients.  It is a need to "give back" and to help others going through the brutal journey.  So....stayed tuned!

Christie's green thumb

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