The Anniversay

This is a special day for my sister, Carol.

It's been one year since she had her lumpectomy. I remember that afternoon vividly - visiting her before surgery, amazed by her courage, waiting with our family for the results and thanking God for giving us the news we prayed for: the cancer had not spread to the lymph nodes!

Coincidentally, this day is even more special because she is having the port removed from her arm! This signifies the end of her journey through breast cancer and the beginning of her new journey as a breast cancer survivor!

Congratulations Sister! I am so proud of you!

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Germs

image by Griffin Technology

I haven't heard the term "nadir" in over five years (read Angels All Over Town) but I'm in it from day 10 - 14, which ends Friday.

Nadir, meaning 'low point' is between chemotherapy cycles when I will experience low white blood counts known as Neutropenia. This can put me at risk for infection.

So, I asked Doc, "What should I do if a student coughs or sneezes on me?"

We both agreed that first I should give the student a detention! LOL

Then go wash my face and hands and blow my nose. She said that should do the trick.

Some other tips:

• Stay away from crowds (impossible this evening because of the band concert and hugging all my bff's)
• Wash all surfaces with disinfectant in my classroom, car, and home daily.
• Wash my hands frequently with soap and warm water, dry with a paper towel THEN turn off the faucet with the paper towel.
• Make sure that everyone providing food for me practices safety and sanitation in the kitchen.
• Never put my hands on my face, near my nose or rub my eyes.

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An Insurance Perk

Saturday, Christie & I went to Elegant Essentials.  What a beautiful shop and gracious staff.  Please check with your insurance carrier on what benefits you may receive when facing breast cancer.  My insurance pays for 6 bras per year.  If you happen to chose one that has more frills than what the insurance company deems necessary, then you pay a portion.  So, I received 5 great fitting bras for free (because I met my deductible) and then paid 50% of the cost for the 6th one.

 

Did I mention 6 per year for life!

 

 

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Christmas Flash Mob

In South Bay Galleria (So Cal) – a Christmas flash mob, be sure to watch it to the end the final minute is the best!
 
TAKE THE TIME TO WATCH THIS – IT SAYS IT ALL.
 
THIS IS REALLY WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT.
 
GOD BLESS US ALL!
 
Click here

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Turning Point

Today is December 17th and I'm at a turning point. This is the first time I have been able to look at all of my lab results and chemo information. It's also the first time I have wanted to write about actually having breast cancer. I have been avoiding this for weeks, not being able to grasp what was happening.  I realize that I've been beating around the bush in all of my blog posts up until now. I don't want to bore you with the specifics but you must remember, this blog is more for me to track the events so I can one day look back at this journey.

As I was getting dressed on Sunday, October 28th, I had discomfort under my left arm and discovered a small lump. The first thought that came to mind was that I might have an infection or be coming down with something. Then I checked my breast and sure enough there was a lump the size of a walnut! Good Grief! When did that happen?

The next day I stayed home from school and called for an appointment with my gynecologist. They got me right in to see the nurse practitioner. She said it might be a cyst but wanted to schedule a diagnostic mammogram just to be sure. I tried not to let it worry me since I had my annual mammogram in January and everything was fine.

On November 1st, I arrived for the mammogram at 7:45 am, thinking that this wouldn't take long and I could go straight to school. Wrong! During the mammogram I looked up at the screen and saw a solid white spot. Everything started falling like dominoes, one procedure  after another. Of course, I was in shock and couldn't believe this was really happening. I was asked to go sit back in the waiting room and someone would come and get me for an ultrasound. The minutes seemed like hours and finally it was my turn. I could see the monitor during the ultrasound as the technician was clicking images of a dark spot. When she was finished and helped me sit up I told her I wasn't going to be able to leave until I could talk to someone. She said she would go get the doctor. At the moment they came back everything happened in slow motion.  I don't remember a lot about what was said except she kept repeating, "I'm really sorry." and the word "biopsy". I managed to call Richard and asked him to come to the hospital.

After the biopsy they said that a surgeon could see us. They named three people and one was my sister's surgeon! Carol had a lumpectomy last December, followed by chemo, radiation, and hormone therapy. So we drove to the other side of town where the surgeon explained that I would probably see an oncologist to begin chemo first. It would be necessary to shrink the tumor before surgery. She scheduled a bone scan, ct body scan, lab tests, and breast MRI for Friday.

I was scheduled to see the oncologist on Monday, November 5th but she had to reschedule due to a death in the family. It was the most intense period of time in my life. Finally, on Wednesday, November 7th, we met with my sister's oncologist, Doc Esther. Carol was there, took awesome notes and wrote a summary of the appointment on her blog. Up until this point I had only glanced at it once. But now I'm ready to own it.
I've completed two chemo treatments and had my  follow-up appointment today. Doc could hardly find the lump under my arm and the breast tumor is softening as it shrinks. The Neulasta injection did it's job and all of my lab results were perfect. We're good to go for the 3rd chemo next Thursday.

Now I'm ready to focus and fight like a girl!

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What Do You Call Yours?

You don't really have to answer that! My kid sister sent a list of euphemisms and I created this image using Wordle.

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Herceptin #17 and The Last One!

Friday, December 14 was my 17th Herceptin drip.  8:00am, I arrived at the clinic and all its familiarity.  The white tree that sits elegantly next to the receptionist window was decorated with beautiful Christmas ornaments.  They have ornaments for each holiday or season .... Easter, St Patrick's day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Independence Day, etc... In the past 12 months, I have never seen it removed from the room or undecorated. 

I scanned my patient card and settled in my chair.  I decided to stop for coffee before coming in and SO glad I did.  This was the first time I actually made time to do so.  I pulled out my electronic Yahtzee game and watched as the nurses arrived to begin their work day. I wondered if they really knew how special they are to so many of "us". 

Nurse Regina took care of me today.  Nurse Karen was the other one on site and in the same chemo room.  On the other side of the hallway, it was Nurses Tracy, Dawn and Bev. 

All my angels

It was smooth sailing and the nurses reminded me that I will need to get my port flushed every 4-6 weeks.  It is hard to explain, but it gave me comfort knowing that I would get to come back and see them.  Nicole, the pharmacist, stopped by to wish me well and I asked how long I would need to keep the port in. She said that Doc Esther usually kept them in patients for a few months....even up to a year.  She is a new mom and the conversation easily moved to photography and my all time favorite ~ Shutterfly.  I am still planning on creating a piece for display at the center. 

Once the chemo was done, I collected my things and gave hugs to Regina and she led me to the scheduling desk for the port flushing.  I got it for Jan 15 when I come in for my follow-up with Doc.  Karen found me and gave me good-bye hugs as well.  She is special to me. 

My sister will also have these amazing angels to care for her

I decided to go across the hall to find the other nurses and say my good-byes.  Doc Esther was there on the computer and she watched all the exchanges.

Then she said, "Why don't you go see Kim and have her schedule to get the port removed."

"Really!?" I was shocked.  "Really!?" I said a little louder.

"Yes," she said. "I don't want to have to write out any more work orders for you."

Happy Dance!  Laughter! Delightful squeals!

 

So, I made my way down the hall and Kim scheduled it for next Thursday, 20th. Naturally, I turned right around and went back to the chemo scheduling desk to cancel the flushing.  Wow, what a turn of events.

 

As I was driving to work, I was trying to wrap my brain around everything that had just occurred over the past 2 hours.  With the clear results of my one year mammogram/ultrasound , I realized

 

I'm no longer a cancer patient

 

I am a cancer survivor!

 

 

I am one of God's miracles!

 

 

 

 





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Queasy

I've been nauseous for over 24 hours and have tried everything. The kitchen counter looks like a pharmacy. On Friday Richard and Tommy went out for the evening and dinner was on our own. I was craving some good old comfort food, Stouffer's Mac and Cheese. I thought I was just hungry and the queasy feeling would go away. You guessed it...about 30 minutes later I was hugging the porcelain.  Katie came running to the door and in between heaving I answered her questions. Yes, I was fine. No, don't call your Dad. And then she asked a question for which I had no answer.  "Do you need me to hold your hair back?"  It was priceless!

Today I went to Elegant Essentials with my sister. It's a beautiful boutique for women after breast surgery. Her insurance paid for 5 bras and will replace them once per year for life. I bought this cap with hair attached. It made my neck feel so warm. 

What do you think?

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The Children are Precious

In light of those whose lives shattered in an instant today, I am putting my news on hold for now.

As the water pushes powerfully thru debris

May our prayers push their way thru any obstacle

and reach directly to Heaven

 

The little children who now sits on the lap of Jesus

will never cry again

will never hurt again

 

and will live in the purest light of love

as they wait patiently to see us again

 

May the parents, families and friends

seek God's face

feel His arms around their shoulders

and His comfort deep inside their hearts

 

May we remember them in our prayers

and lift them up in a community of

love and understanding

today and every day

Amen

 

 



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Roller Coaster Ride

A few days have slipped away again.
Second chemo last Thursday...out of it Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
Tuesday I was weak but managed to stay awake most of the day.
Made it to work for half a day today.

The thing that is different is all the crying. It comes out of nowhere...often and I don't like it one little bit.
I don't understand why this is happening.
I can't believe this is happening.
I don't want this to be happening.
I can't stop this from happening.

My sister says that these emotions are natural, it's part of the roller coaster ride. I'm afraid this ride will fling me so violently that I will lose my Christie-ness. What will be left when the ride stops and I finally get off? I can't even imagine.

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