What a Difference a Year Makes

Yesterday I took Katie to Berean Christian Bookstore so she could pick out a new Bible for her birthday.  It reminded me how much can change in just one year. I'm re-posted this article from Teach2Blog, May 1, 2012

     Over the weekend I lined up for Chris Spielman's  autograph with at least 350 fans who purchased his new book, That's Why I'm Here: The Chris & Stefanie Spielman Story. I was number 201 and waited two and a half hours, listening to all of these men around me (spoiler alert!) talk about how good the book was.
     But the time spent in that line was nothing compared to the 25 years I have been waiting to return a homework assignment Chris Spielman completed at Washington High School.  I replaced a retiring Family and Consumer Sciences teacher in 1987 and she saved everything!  I found a folder of graded resumes and decided to show the examples to my students learning about employment skills. One student could hardly contain himself. "Look, this is Chris Spielman's resume!". I got the class back on task and collected the resumes, returned them to the folder and back in the file drawer. The following semester I repeated the lesson, handed out the examples and another student said the same thing. Having lived through my first football season and the traditions in Massillon that year, I figured that Chris must have been a pretty good player. I mean, the kids were still talking about him! Little did I know that he had been playing for the Ohio State Buckeyes and later joined the NFL.  Eventually, I got with the program and started holding up Chris's resume, sometimes walking up and down the isles for the students to glance at this prestigious document.

Berean Christian Bookstore

     I left that job twelve years ago and the folder was stored in my basement until last weekend. Several times I've attempted to give the resume back to Chris. I am glad I finally got the chance to return it in person.
     There were so many parts of his high school resume that emulated his personal and professional life; being the captain of athletic teams, excelling academically,  working with children, and admiring the coaching staff by listing them as references. As teachers, we never know, out of the hundreds of students we meet during our career, which ones will reach their goals as life's rewards and disappointments intercept their hopes and dreams.
     Hopefully, e-books won't replace printed books in the future. Otherwise, how will we experience book signings? I mentioned that my sister had just completed her final chemo treatment for breast cancer. Chris took the time to write her a message of encouragement. That gesture deserves an A+.

Read More

Girl Talk

I'm generally a very optimistic, happy-go-lucky person but last weekend my mind wander into dark places and it took awhile to find my way out. It was scary and I cried a lot.
The next day at my follow-up appointment Doc entered the room and asked, "What can I help you with today?"
I stammered and stuttered, "I"m worried."
She leaned against the counter and folded her arms. "Did I ever tell you about when I was in training?"
I shook my head, "no".
She continued, "How often do you think I did self-breast exams."
I had no idea and shrugged.
"Every 10 minutes!" She reached for her breast, "I was always checking myself! I finally got a mammogram  and convinced a surgeon to see if I had a lump. I was only 33. I didn't have breast cancer and haven't, but I can imagine how paranoid it must make you feel." I nodded in agreement.
Doc continued, "Some cancer cells behave and others are aggressive. Yours is a 4 on a scale of 10. I'm planning on firing you in 5 years."
I smiled and said, "Okay. I'm looking forward to being fired then."

The Exam
I showed Doc the photo of my swollen face and welts right after the last treatment. I told her how my throat had hurt and I couldn't swallow (an ulcer from the chemo). She checked the open sores on my chest and back, then announced, "We are changing the chemo drug to Taxol. The side effects will get worse each time with Taxotere." And added,  "Then you'll really be mad at me!"
Taxol is from the same family and is just as effective but the SE will be easier. She checked the lump and declared that she'd have a hard time finding it if she didn't know where to look. Excellent news!
When I thanked her for taking time for me, she said, "Oh, you're welcome. I could tell you needed it today."
Like I said before, my Doc rocks!

Read More

The Life and Death of Cancer Cells

At my last follow up appointment I asked Doc if my cancer cells were fast or slow growing. I wanted to figure out how long I've had this tumor. She quoted what I read in the Breast Cancer Treatment Handbook by Kneece. "Your tumor was this size (creating a circle with her fingers). One hundred days before that it was half that size (reducing the circle) and 100 days before that it was the size of a pencil eraser which is 1 billion cells. You've had this for years."

WHAT? I've had this tumor growing in my breast for YEARS?!
So, let me get this straight. When I had my yearly mammograms, the last one 11 months before the diagnosis, I had breast cancer? When I did self breast exams the cancer was there?  And while I watched my sister go through the horrible lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation I had breast cancer at the same time? Geez...

I am receiving Neoadjuvant Therapy.

If you are a candidate for adjuvant (after surgery) chemotherapy, neoadjuvant chemotherapy may be an option as a first treatment [66]. For some women, it can change surgical options. Neoadjuvant chemotherapy can shrink a larger tumor enough so that lumpectomy becomes an option to mastectomy [66,71-72].  

Most tumors respond to neoadjuvant therapy. In some cases, the tumor will disappear entirely. This is called “complete pathological response” because at the time of surgery, the pathologist is unable to find any sign of cancer. 

Doc measured the breast tumor and said it was about the same size as the last exam however it seemed to be breaking up into pieces. Sometimes a tumor will wither like a raisin and other times it will fall apart like a worm eating through an apple. The lymph node was the size of a jelly bean but now it's the size of a soft pea. 

Image of a whole tumor on the left.
The tumor responding to Neoadjuvant therapy on right.

We are making progress.

4 down 4 to go

Read More

Turning Point

Today is December 17th and I'm at a turning point. This is the first time I have been able to look at all of my lab results and chemo information. It's also the first time I have wanted to write about actually having breast cancer. I have been avoiding this for weeks, not being able to grasp what was happening.  I realize that I've been beating around the bush in all of my blog posts up until now. I don't want to bore you with the specifics but you must remember, this blog is more for me to track the events so I can one day look back at this journey.

As I was getting dressed on Sunday, October 28th, I had discomfort under my left arm and discovered a small lump. The first thought that came to mind was that I might have an infection or be coming down with something. Then I checked my breast and sure enough there was a lump the size of a walnut! Good Grief! When did that happen?

The next day I stayed home from school and called for an appointment with my gynecologist. They got me right in to see the nurse practitioner. She said it might be a cyst but wanted to schedule a diagnostic mammogram just to be sure. I tried not to let it worry me since I had my annual mammogram in January and everything was fine.

On November 1st, I arrived for the mammogram at 7:45 am, thinking that this wouldn't take long and I could go straight to school. Wrong! During the mammogram I looked up at the screen and saw a solid white spot. Everything started falling like dominoes, one procedure  after another. Of course, I was in shock and couldn't believe this was really happening. I was asked to go sit back in the waiting room and someone would come and get me for an ultrasound. The minutes seemed like hours and finally it was my turn. I could see the monitor during the ultrasound as the technician was clicking images of a dark spot. When she was finished and helped me sit up I told her I wasn't going to be able to leave until I could talk to someone. She said she would go get the doctor. At the moment they came back everything happened in slow motion.  I don't remember a lot about what was said except she kept repeating, "I'm really sorry." and the word "biopsy". I managed to call Richard and asked him to come to the hospital.

After the biopsy they said that a surgeon could see us. They named three people and one was my sister's surgeon! Carol had a lumpectomy last December, followed by chemo, radiation, and hormone therapy. So we drove to the other side of town where the surgeon explained that I would probably see an oncologist to begin chemo first. It would be necessary to shrink the tumor before surgery. She scheduled a bone scan, ct body scan, lab tests, and breast MRI for Friday.

I was scheduled to see the oncologist on Monday, November 5th but she had to reschedule due to a death in the family. It was the most intense period of time in my life. Finally, on Wednesday, November 7th, we met with my sister's oncologist, Doc Esther. Carol was there, took awesome notes and wrote a summary of the appointment on her blog. Up until this point I had only glanced at it once. But now I'm ready to own it.
I've completed two chemo treatments and had my  follow-up appointment today. Doc could hardly find the lump under my arm and the breast tumor is softening as it shrinks. The Neulasta injection did it's job and all of my lab results were perfect. We're good to go for the 3rd chemo next Thursday.

Now I'm ready to focus and fight like a girl!

Read More

My New Theme Song

Received second chemo yesterday. Recuperating today. Will go back for the

Neulasta shot in my belly at 4:30 this afternoon.

My sister, Heather, sent this video last night. I have been wanting to find a theme song 

and Stronger by Kelly Clarston absolutely speaks volumes to me.

If you want to subscribe to Megan's Facebook follow this link: 

http://www.facebook.com/megan.kowalewski2

Read More

Let's Get This Party Started

I got the call! I will start my first chemo on Friday, November 16th at 1:00 pm. I will have more details tomorrow. All of my labs, scans, and tests have come back clean. The pathology report found that it's HER2-negative, which is a good thing. The plan is that I will have 4 cycles (3 weeks apart) of one drug, then 4 cycles of another. Then surgery in the spring, followed by radiation.

Photo by Bent Objects

I am still trying to wrap my head around this! It's only been 15 days. I know I can do this. I'm one tough cookie but sometimes feel like I'm falling to pieces. My sister Carol has been here for me, giving me strength and courage. She says I need to walk through the fear and get to the other side.

I've noticed that those required hugs I get each day actually pat most of the crumbs back into place and help me hold myself together.

Read More

Hurry Up and Wait

It seems like I've been doing a lot of this during the past 14 days. Making it to appointments, filling out paper work, waiting. Changing into a gown, shaped like a sheet with holes in it for arms; waiting. Waiting while they set up, waiting while they perform the tests, waiting to be released. Then waiting for results, waiting for that phone call, waiting on the edge of my seat. But I'm okay with waiting because I know that the medical staff is part of team-Christie, working on my behalf, to develop the best plan of action to conquer this cancer.
I had the Echo on Monday morning and the liver MRI Tuesday. I want to start the chemo right away and hope I get that call today.

Read More

Introduction to Breast Cancer

Learning that you have breast cancer can, quite literally, stop you in your tracks. You may feel frozen in time, replaying over and over again in your mind the moment your doctor told you the news. It's normal to feel a wide range of emotions—fear, shock, depression, anger and even guilt.

Slow down, take a moment and breathe. The emotions you are feeling are completely understandable. And if you are feeling nothing, that's OK, too. Oftentimes, when a woman hears the diagnosis "breast cancer," she goes temporarily numb.

Take comfort, though, in knowing that, as of 2010, there are more than 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in the U.S. Experts report that the death rate from breast cancer has been decreasing since 1991, due to public awareness, earlier detection and advances in treatment.

The truth is, there is nothing fair about breast cancer. But you can find plenty of help and reasons for hope. Turn to your family and friends. Choose a healthcare team you trust. Prepare for a battle and be strong.

Health Monitor

Learn more Introduction to Breast Cancer

Read More

Day after Surgery ~ Remembering

At the Gorge

This is my new blog and it's a new day! Sitting here with Sis, chillin' out in my new pink socks.  Christie helped me create this blog and I think it is fantastic.  (have patience with me as I develop it and get it just right).  I wanted to keep my journal separate from my photo albums as it is deserving of having its own space.  Why not?

I'm a little doped up from the percocet, but not nauseous from the Anesthesia. That's a blessing.  Let's see if I can recount yesterday ....


We arrived at Akron General around 10:30am and to our surprise, Pastor Phil and his wife, Myrna, were there waiting for us.  I felt honored and special to have them there to say a prayer over us and get us started on our journey.  I had my bright pink pj bottoms on (they said dress comfortable), no make up, hair pulled back ... what'a sight!   After they left, we settled in and waited to be called.  It didn't take long.  Teri & Jasmine kept each other company as Matt & I left for the ball.  First, getting into my ball gown, brrrr, very thin material.  Oh, how I love the toasted blankets! 

My first trip was to aggravate the cancer by sticking 5 needles into my right breast. This was the nuclear injection that turns your lymph nodes smurf blue (and your pee). It takes a while for it to run its course, so that's why it was done early (surgery scheduled at 3pm).  I really thought it was going to hurt, but it didn't.  The nurse and the doctor were very compassionate and gentle.  My quick-snap ball gown made things easy all day.

They took me back to the pre-surgical room where I met up with Matt again and waited for the next procedure .... a wire in my right breast.  While we waited, Troy (the man nurse as he called himself) came in talking like a new yorker.  I did it right back "yo, how ya doin?" *in my best Rocky voice ever*  How can you get offended by a lady with cancer, right?  Well, as much as we tried to warn Troy about my poor veins, he like many before him was a little over-confident.  Blew my vein.  It was premature anyway, because I had another difficult procedure that an IV would just be in the way.  He said he would come back afterward .....

Now the next stop was at the mammogram lab.  A very friendly nurse explained absolutely everything that she was getting ready to do.  I had my choice of a needle prick to give me a local and then the 2nd needle to insert a thin fish-line-type wire OR just go for the fish-line-type wire without the local.  I said one needle prick was enough.  It wasn't the needle that hurt, it was the compression. OUCH! I hate that.  But I held still as Dr White came into the room, did his thing, and left.  I really didn't get a good look at him from the locked-in position I was in.  I was really sore and tired by this time.  I think the clock said around 1:00.  She placed tape around the wire that was poking out of my breast.  Amazing.  We made the long trip back across the walk-bridge.

This time, Teri and Jasmine came up to visit and my friend Marylee stopped in as well.  It was a very nice surprise.  Marylee prayed with us and made my heart glad.  (I love to pray)

Then Mom & Christie came! A party! I wonder if they were getting upset with all the people, lol.  Anyway, it was good to see everyone and let them know I was doing okay. 

The Anesthesia man came in to look over my veins and such and put in the needle on the underside of my left wrist.  (it's bruised)  Thankfully, he got the vein though.  The coolness of the saline streamed up my arm. 

Everyone left, but Matt, and Dr. Patin came in to talk to us and explain the procedure once again.  If the lymph nodes were not blue, she would not have to do an axillary dissection ... which would mean an overnight stay in the hospital, and more serious treatment.

As they wheeled me away, I was wishing everyone I saw a Merry Christmas.  Have to remember the important stuff.  I also let them know that I was praying for them as well.  Dr. Patin is great. I just love her.

The surgery took about 3 hours.  Shortly after 6:00pm, Dr Partin spoke with Matt and Christie.  Good news! 2 sentinel nodes & 2 additional nodes were removed, no cancer found.  So no axillary dissection needed.  They took a larger amount, but did not require a drain.  Pathology from the cancer will take 1 week.  From there, we will know if chemotherapy will be required.  Radiation will be 5-7 weeks long every day.

After the surgery, I was trying to focus on the clock. 7:00pm
Matt came in after 8:00pm
Once I was able to drink some ginger ale and eat some graham crackers, I slowly got dressed to go home.  Teri was with us .... Jaz went home with Dan.  We got home about 9:30pm

Read More