Divine Appointments

There was so much to do to prepare for tomorrow's surgery but I'm ready to Kiss Cancer Good-Bye!

I don't know why I always look forward to seeing Doc. There must be something wrong with me, haha! On Monday I had my 10 day follow-up. All of my numbers looked good. My scarf slipped off when I removed my shirt. Doc exclaimed, "Your hair is coming back!", as she ran her hand over the downy tufts of new hair.
She explained why it's important to have the lumpectomy instead of mastectomy. I need radiation, which will damage the skin, making breast reconstruction impossible. She said she knew it would be a difficult week because the success of chemotherapy will be determined with the MRI on Tuesday and surgery on Thursday. I will see Doc a week after surgery to discuss the pathology report and make sure we're on track..

Then I went to the Mindfulness class. For you teachers out there; you know how good it feels when you have a great lesson plan and class ends on a high note? That's how my instructor probably felt because everything she put out there I had recent experiences to compare (known as activating prior knowledge).
We discussed the affects of stress on the body and how meditation corrects the damages to your brain. After yoga she sent "active Reiki love" to the surgical room, staff and me for Thursday.  It was a very comforting gesture. She let me borrow a CD from the Cleveland Clinic with meditation imagery. Their research found that listening to this will decrease infection, decrease pain meds needed, and decrease the length of hospital stay.

On Tuesday morning I had the breast MRI. With my face resting in this oval brace, I made a game of it by humming along with the machine and counting the clicks. When I was finished and lifted myself up I saw light brown marks where my forehead was. I suddenly looked at the tech and asked, "Did I rubbed off my eyebrows?!" He checked and said they were still there. Note to self:  put a brow pencil in my purse!

That afternoon I went back in for Pre-surgery testing. As I approached the desk I recognized the girl but couldn't remember from where. She said she knew me too and we both thought for a moment. Then it all came back to me. She was in the waiting room with me the day I got my mammogram on November 1st. She had a minor accident on her way there and was flustered as she told me all about it. When I went in for my mammo I was asked to go back out and wait because I needed an ultrasound.  When she finished her mammo she got to change out of her ballgown and leave.
Pointing to my scarf:  "I look different. I had hair back then."
Pointing to her head of long brown hair: "Don't worry. It will grown back."
I was shocked! She was so young but is a breast cancer survivor. And so is her mom and two aunts. We chatted a few more minutes. After the pre-surgery testing I went back to give her a can of Love.

My surgeon called me this evening to check on me. She said the MRI showed that the tumor did shrink so she will take it out and let the pathologist take a look.  It seemed as if I was talking with an old friend the way we were laughing and carrying on.

There have been a few more Divine Appointments this week but my fingers hurt (neuropathy) so I will have to close. Thank you for sending me hugs and prayers as I go through surgery tomorrow.

I have been so blessed all my life and don't think there is anything I would change. Not even having breast cancer.

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Warp Speed

A student took this photo of me today.
I wanted to show off my beautiful new scarf
from Betty! "In it to end it!"

It's been a busy, short week but I wanted to post this update before I go to bed.  I got a call from the hospital today and my surgery is scheduled for April 25th - in 2 weeks! OMG! I thought it would be in May.
My Mom flew to South Carolina today to visit my youngest sister, Heather, for a month.
This evening we went out to dinner with my sister, Carol to celebrate her birthday and my daughter's, which is on Friday. I can't believe Katie will be 16!
I just finished going through all of our receipts from last year for taxes. I marveled at how I could look at a list of items and recognize the events for which we made those purchases.  The holiday meals, the items for Katie's trip to Chicago her freshman year, the flats of flowers, 3 tons of rocks from a gravel pit,  lunch with just me and Tommy, the Homecoming dress in October. Then things got really quite in November except for some scarves and hats ordered from catalogs.
The past 5 months went by at warp speed. I've lived by the calendar filled with appointments. Every three weeks-chemo. Ten days later, a follow-up visit. And of course, in between, I had a few glitches and needed more appointments.

Tomorrow is my 8th and final chemotherapy treatment. I'm really happy that I'm almost finished! But I will miss the nurses and all of the tlc they've provided. I will be glad to get through this part of my treatment and move on to the lumpectomy, radiation and finally, healing, both inside and out.

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Expressions

Last week at a doctors appointment I was having issues removing my shirt when my cap disappeared from my bald head. I grabbed it and sheepishly told the NP that I was having a bad hair day as I pulled it tight over my ears. When I slipped my shirt back on I asked Richard if I had accidentally rubbed my eyebrows off. He looked at me, tilted his head and asked if had drawn an expression on my face. I shrieked and pulled my cap down to the rim of my glasses. We were both cracking up as we left the office. As soon as I got in the car I looked in the mirror and sure enough my eyebrows were lopsided! I am not the artist in the family!

On Monday Doc told me to call my surgeon to start planning the next step. She said I will have surgery approximately 3 weeks after the final chemo which is April 11th. Tomorrow I will get the genetic test results and then will see my surgeon in the afternoon. I will find out when and decide what kind of surgery I will have.

I've been researching many different topics now that we are getting ready for the next phase. I want to be informed and to know the right questions to ask. I trust Doc and my surgeon. She is well known for getting "clear margins" and she was Carol's surgeon. I remember going to the consultation room with my brother in-law right after Carol's operation, shaking this surgeon's hand and thinking that she looked as young as my high school students. I never would have guessed that I would be her patient 16 months later.

 Everything happens for a reason!

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Peach Fuzz

Guess what? I will be finished with my chemo treatments in 3 weeks! Number 7 tomorrow and number 8 on April 11th!

Guess what else? I have peach fuzz on my head! Lots of tiny blond (grey?) hairs all over my head.
I am looking forward to getting my hair back and won't miss these scarves. Sometimes I wish I would have opted for the wig in the beginning.
A couple weeks ago an unfamiliar student said, "I like your scarf. Hey, are you sick?"
Well, I felt great at the moment but realized the scarf symbolized something was seriously wrong. I don't want to be thought of as being "sick" but this is breast cancer, after all.

With every phase of my sister's cancer journey, I would cringe and repeat over and over, "OMG!  I could never do that!"

Never, ever, say never...

Follow these steps if you'd like to walk a mile in my shoes scarf.

1. You will need a scarf and a scrunchie. If you don't have a square one, use a rectangle and fold it in half to make a square.
2. Fold into a triangle.
3. Wet your hair and comb it back behind your ears. If it's on your neck or longer, pin it up, leave it wet.
4. Place the scarf on your head, pull it in the back and tie with the scrunchie like a pony-tail. Make sure the scarf is pulled down to the middle of your forehead and over your ears.

If my sister had asked me to try this I would have lasted 2 minutes, then I would have ripped the scarf off and immediately dried my hair.  

Are you going to try this?

Let me know what you think about this experiment.

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Under the Influence

Image from www.bonepains.org/

I shouldn't be operating machinery while under the influence so forgive me for all that will be wrong with this attempt at writing a post.
As promised, the pain finally came on Sunday. I felt like I was getting the flu; achy, then warm. My temperature inched up as the day turned to night and as the story goes, we called the doctor when it reached 101.1. I was having the same abdominal cramps as last chemo and figured the bladder infection was back. The doc-on-call told Richard that the antibiotic I received three weeks ago was not appropriate for a woman with breast cancer. WTF!
The new prescription caused nausea and vomiting. Not easy to do when your legs feel like they are on backwards. It was the strangest sensation.
I was rocking and rolling back and forth from the bone-crushing pain until the meds kicked in last night. As the dose wore off at 5:00 this morning, I laid in bed, trying to find just one bone in my body that did not feel like it was being pounded with a hammer. Nope, all 206 bones were hurting.
Today I went in for IV fluid and the Neulasta shot. I can't imagine adding more bone pain from the shot to what I already have. Note to self, take the drugs.

Another note to self: This too shall pass.

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Taxol

Yesterday was chemo #6. This was a little different because it was my first time with Taxol. The day started at 9:00 am for lab work. By 9:30 I was in my lounge chair.

I had an EKG which is protocol  for Taxol.

Then I had a pre-medication cocktail of Benedryl, steroids, and Pepcid. By 11:30 we started the Taxol for a 3 hour infusion  I was so groggy and not very talkative. With my hands on ice, I fell asleep while listening to my meditation tapes. Richard's job was to hold my chin up if I started snoring!

We got out of there by 3:00 and weren't home very long before my Mom called Richard to take her to emergency. He didn't want to leave me and when we got a hold of Carol she was right by my Mom's house. Mom was having vision problems and her eye doctor wanted her to go to the hospital. The MRI showed evidence of a stroke. Read my sister's report about the results.

I'm feeling pretty good today. My cheeks are rosy, look wind-burned but I have no fever. I spent some time on Pinterest this morning after Katie gave me a lesson on the concept. Hours later she told me that I should only spend 30 minutes per day on Pinterest so I don't annoy my followers. Oh Dear! I didn't know that part. I can't wait to get back on tomorrow. Click the Pinterest logo above and see what I found!

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Girl Talk

I'm generally a very optimistic, happy-go-lucky person but last weekend my mind wander into dark places and it took awhile to find my way out. It was scary and I cried a lot.
The next day at my follow-up appointment Doc entered the room and asked, "What can I help you with today?"
I stammered and stuttered, "I"m worried."
She leaned against the counter and folded her arms. "Did I ever tell you about when I was in training?"
I shook my head, "no".
She continued, "How often do you think I did self-breast exams."
I had no idea and shrugged.
"Every 10 minutes!" She reached for her breast, "I was always checking myself! I finally got a mammogram  and convinced a surgeon to see if I had a lump. I was only 33. I didn't have breast cancer and haven't, but I can imagine how paranoid it must make you feel." I nodded in agreement.
Doc continued, "Some cancer cells behave and others are aggressive. Yours is a 4 on a scale of 10. I'm planning on firing you in 5 years."
I smiled and said, "Okay. I'm looking forward to being fired then."

The Exam
I showed Doc the photo of my swollen face and welts right after the last treatment. I told her how my throat had hurt and I couldn't swallow (an ulcer from the chemo). She checked the open sores on my chest and back, then announced, "We are changing the chemo drug to Taxol. The side effects will get worse each time with Taxotere." And added,  "Then you'll really be mad at me!"
Taxol is from the same family and is just as effective but the SE will be easier. She checked the lump and declared that she'd have a hard time finding it if she didn't know where to look. Excellent news!
When I thanked her for taking time for me, she said, "Oh, you're welcome. I could tell you needed it today."
Like I said before, my Doc rocks!

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Finding My Voice

Image from SpiritCures Home Remedies

My throat hurts. It's not a sore throat. There is this pain mostly on the left side when I swallow. Richard made a wonderful dinner this evening and I had to cut my meat the size of a tictac and it still hurt going down! We thought I should take some pain medicine. But it's such a big pill I only wanted to take half and still had to break it into 3 pieces and take it with pudding.

I need to find my voice. I really don't know why this pain started but I do know there were several times in the past 6 days that people did not hear me. I will try to create a timeline.

Last Thursday- Steroids & Chemo, no throat pain
Friday - Fluid IV & Neulasta shot, no throat pain
Saturday - Ouch! Tried to eat toast, had to take tiny bites because it wouldn't fit down my throat. Began to run a fever and developed a bladder infection. Went to ER at 9:30 pm. I mentioned the sore throat and the young doctor looked inside but didn't feel the lymph nodes. The real doctor came in and Richard commented about my throat and she did the exact same thing. They decided that I had a bladder infection, gave me an antibiotic and pain meds. Neither doctor touched my neck.
Sunday - Richard made Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup and my throat still hurt but I was on pain meds so didn't notice much.
Monday - Went to see Doc and she sent in a visiting doctor to do an assessment. So the lady pulls up my charts on the screen and asks me a few questions about the ER visit. Doc walked in and asked what she found. The visiting doc summarized what she learned from the computer. Doc asked about my three blood pressure readings (laying, sitting, standing) and said "You need fluid".  NEITHER doctor touched my throat or looked inside. Maybe Doc thought the other one did a complete assessment. Who knows?
Tuesday - throat still hurt.
Wednesday - I called Docs office in the morning. I wondered if the culture was back for the bladder infection.  And I told her that my tongue was now white and sore. Several hours later my sister faxed the office with the same question and wondered if I might have oral thrush from the antibiotic. The assistant finally got back to me in the afternoon and was calling in "something else". She was about to hang up when I asked if this is thrush? She said, "yes, it is." She must have been really busy that day because she didn't have more time for me. My husband brought the medicine home but I had another question. So I called the pharmacist. "Yes", I should "continue taking the antibiotic for the infection along with the Nystatin".
Today - I couldn't eat the toast but drank water. I tried to eat a salad for lunch. I also tried to keep my mouth closed so no one would see my white tongue. Doc's office called  to remind me of the follow up appointment next Monday. I mentioned that my throat really hurt and the assistant said, "I know it does Hon. But the pain should ease soon."

So, I am baffled as to why it hurts like hell to swallow. How did it start? Did I get thrush from the steroids on Thursday or the antibiotic on Saturday?

A friend sent me a note today and per her sister, an oncology nurse, I should call the doctor immediately WHENEVER I feel bad. The patients who call will get the best care.
I need to do a better job of making sure people are listening to me. I will work on finding my voice.

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Allergic to Poison

Look, I still have some eyelashes!

It seems that I'm allergic to poison! I like to think of chemo drugs as medicine but they are actually poisons.

I took a photo of my eyes this afternoon. The welt under my right eye doesn't show up but it's there. My chest is red with bumps that feel like the surface of bubble wrap. My lips are numb and swollen and my mouth feels like I rinsed with Novocaine  Both index fingers feel like I have clothes pins clamped on the tips. Not painful, just numb.

Docs office suggested that I try Benadryl. By the time Carol stopped over after work I was loopy but the pain in my bones and muscles also returned. Doc Carol told me I need to give myself permission to use the drugs available to make myself comfortable. I shouldn't suffer through the affects of fighting this cancer. So I'm back on pain meds.

I plan on going to work tomorrow. I need to save most of my sick days for May when I have surgery. I will just have to deal with this the best I can at school. Besides, the distraction will be good for me.

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What's That Sloshing Sound?

Oh, ummm, sorry...it must be me...

Let me give you a brief summary of the past 4 days.

Friday I woke up energized after only 4 hours of sleep. I hadn't felt that good in months and was thinking I loved the affects of Taxotere and steroids  My cousin Dana warned me about crashing after the steroids wore off. We went back in for 2 liters of fluid and the Neulasta shot that afternoon.

Saturday morning I awoke with a sharp lower abdominal pain. My hands and face were also swollen. It was such a hectic day for Katie taking the ACT, decorating for the Winter Formal and getting ready for the dance. My sister, Carol came over to keep me company and took photos of Katie's friends along with several other parents. I could hardly move by the time everyone left at 5:00. I spent a couple hours on the couch with a heating pad on my tummy. My whole body started aching and I had chills with a fever. Our neighbor is a nurse at the chemo treatment center and she came over to assess the situation. We went to emergency and finally after 6 hours, another liter of fluid and meds for a bladder infection and pain we were released. Got in bed at 2:30 am, which was actually Sunday.

Woke up at 7:30 Sunday in lots of pain and had a fever most of the day. I swear I thought I was in labor AND and had been hit by a mac truck! The pain meds just knocked me out each time.

Monday. The fever finally broke and was normal this morning. We were instructed to contact my doctor. I was feeling out of breath and weak so Doc wanted to see me. I was dehydrated AGAIN and needed 2 more liters of fluid. When we left the facility at 4:30 this afternoon I could actually hear myself sloshing!

Excuse me. I need to get the heating pad again. BTW Heather, thanks for sending me a very useful gift!

Side effect of Taxotere - fluid retention! 

Gosh darn it! I'm never going to fit into my work clothes!

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Ice Ice Baby

My hands and feet on ice.
 Jody, Thanks for making this
shoulder wrap to keep me warm!

This morning I went to Carlton Massage in Green for the complimentary therapies I mentioned in my previous post. I felt pretty good when I left at noon - until I was half way home.

I got a call from the Treatment Center and the nice nurse was wondering if there was a problem because I didn't show up for my 10:15 chemo appointment. I almost went off the road! I explained that we just checked the appointment card and I was scheduled for 1:15. She looked in another location and said that I was scheduled for labs at 1:15 and could see where they made a mistake. She needed to find out if there would be enough time to come in  for my treatment today. What?! I told her I HAD to have it today and could come in immediately to get started. She promised she would call me back with an answer.

As I pulled in the garage I got the call to come in at 1:15.  I seemed to lose my focus and the effects from the massage and Reiki were gone. I had a few minutes to eat a sandwich and finish packing my pink bag. We were on the expressway when I realized that I forgot to numb my arm with lidocaine! I have a port to access the vein in my right arm and the needle looks like a thumb tack on steroids! Oh Geez!

As soon as I got settled into my chair we unpacked the Raspberry Italian Ice and tried to numb my arm. It still hurt because it goes through so many layers of skin but Richard let me squeeze his hand and it was over before I could cuss. Note to self - Don't EVER forget the lidocaine again!

First, I had Decadron by IV (a steroid to prevent an allergic reaction). Then I had to wait 30 minutes before the chemo drug Taxotere. While I was waiting I got my hands and feet put on ice. The purpose is to constrict the veins to prevent the drug from doing the following:

• numbness in my hands and feet which is called peripheral neuropathy. 
• keep layers of skin from peeling on my hands and feet
• keep finger and toe nails from turning dark and falling off

I know! Gross! Right?


What I like about this drug is that I'm not nauseous!
What I'm dreading is the bone pain...

Tomorrow I will be going for fluid IV (2 bags=2 hours) and a shot of Neulasta in my tummy. No, silly! Not a shot glass. I'm talking about the needle kind!

Let's have a little contest. See how long you can leave your hands on ice. The record to beat is 75 minutes.

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Keep Calm and Relax

Just chillin'

Tomorrow will be chemo #5 and the first of the new drug Taxotere. To get ready for this chemo session I will be getting a massage, followed by Reiki, pronounced ray-key. Did you know that a massage therapist can be trained to work with cancer patients? I had to get a note from my doctor allowing me to have a massage. Having these complimentary therapies will help relieve stress and anxiety as well as handle the pain.
Visit the American Cancer Society to learn more.

I wanted to treat myself to a massage during Christmas break but had to cancel the appointment when I landed in the hospital. That's where my nurse, Gea, offered to give me a Reiki treatment. She was trained by  Reiki Rays of Hope for caregivers.  It's very difficult for me to put into words how I felt while Gea was gently talking to me and praying. She held her hands an inch above my body and I could feel this warm, tingling sensation. I was very relaxed but was also crying the whole time. It was just pure love.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, Reiki is a form of hands-on, natural healing that uses universal life force energy. 

The benefits of Reiki treatment

• bring a peaceful, deep relaxation
• dissolve energy blockages and tension
• detoxify the body
• support the well-being of the client who is receiving traditional medical treatments that are debilitating, such as chemotherapy and radiation, surgery, kidney transplants, etc.
• supply universal life-force energy to the body
• stimulate the body’s immune system
• help to relieve pain
• stimulate tissue and bone healing after injury or surgery
• increase the vibrational frequency of the client on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels

Visit the American Cancer Society to learn more about Reiki.

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The Life and Death of Cancer Cells

At my last follow up appointment I asked Doc if my cancer cells were fast or slow growing. I wanted to figure out how long I've had this tumor. She quoted what I read in the Breast Cancer Treatment Handbook by Kneece. "Your tumor was this size (creating a circle with her fingers). One hundred days before that it was half that size (reducing the circle) and 100 days before that it was the size of a pencil eraser which is 1 billion cells. You've had this for years."

WHAT? I've had this tumor growing in my breast for YEARS?!
So, let me get this straight. When I had my yearly mammograms, the last one 11 months before the diagnosis, I had breast cancer? When I did self breast exams the cancer was there?  And while I watched my sister go through the horrible lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation I had breast cancer at the same time? Geez...

I am receiving Neoadjuvant Therapy.

If you are a candidate for adjuvant (after surgery) chemotherapy, neoadjuvant chemotherapy may be an option as a first treatment [66]. For some women, it can change surgical options. Neoadjuvant chemotherapy can shrink a larger tumor enough so that lumpectomy becomes an option to mastectomy [66,71-72].  

Most tumors respond to neoadjuvant therapy. In some cases, the tumor will disappear entirely. This is called “complete pathological response” because at the time of surgery, the pathologist is unable to find any sign of cancer. 

Doc measured the breast tumor and said it was about the same size as the last exam however it seemed to be breaking up into pieces. Sometimes a tumor will wither like a raisin and other times it will fall apart like a worm eating through an apple. The lymph node was the size of a jelly bean but now it's the size of a soft pea. 

Image of a whole tumor on the left.
The tumor responding to Neoadjuvant therapy on right.

We are making progress.

4 down 4 to go

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I'm Okay

I know it's been over a week since I last posted but I'm okay. Really!


I'm not gonna lie...this is really hard.......and the next four treatments will be intense. Taxotere is not a nice drug but it's the only way to continue reducing the tumor. I will do whatever it takes to knock this stupid cancer out of my body.


It took about a week to recover from the treatment on January 17th. I didn't even get on the computer during those days and only checked text messages. Then it was Friday and I had a busy weekend.

Yesterday a student and teacher from my school came over for a couple hours. The student approached me in December about being part of his senior photo project. He wanted to take photos of me doing normal activities with and without the scarves. No wonder models get paid a zillion dollars. It's hard work! His mom lost her battle with breast cancer in August of 2011 so I was honored that he asked me to be a part of his project. He showed me all of the shots and they looked great with the natural lighting and different angles.

I'm worried about my sister, Carol. She has been so tired and in so much pain. You're not really done when they tell you you're finished with the treatment and cured. It takes a long time to recover and get back to where you were BC (before cancer).

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Vision Problems

Photo by Carol at Christmas 2012

A few weeks ago I was clicking away at an event with Tommy's camera. I was having a hard time getting into focus and when I'd check the screen the picture was blurry. I approached a young man and asked him to help me figure out how to adjust the focus. He pointed the camera, looked through the lens and pressed the shutter button half way down then informed me that the camera was on auto-focus. Duh!
He gave it back and I pointed to the same group, pressed the shutter button half way down and told him it was blurry again. The poor guy didn't know what to say. I thanked him, checked to make sure my glasses were clean and took a few more photos.
I finally gave up and took a seat.

My sister Carol had the same problem with her vision while on chemotherapy. And when it was over she had an eye exam and got new glasses. I received a new eyeglass prescription BC (before cancer) and I decided to go ahead and order a new pair. Julia first helped my daughter order a pair and then it was my turn. She told me that she was on chemotherapy a few years ago and had similar problems with her vision. She recommended that I check with my doctor about using eye drops. When we finished with the order I ask if I could have a hug.

A week later I picked up the new glasses. This time, Annie, one of my favorite eyewear consultants, was there. Annie has helped me several times over the years but I didn't know she went through chemotherapy too. Wearing a scarf is like a beacon for survivors to share and give us hope.   The doctor came over to visit and explained that when I finished chemo I should come back for another exam to see if my vision changed. Annie made a note on my file to replace the lenses for free if that was the case. After she adjusted my new glasses she gave me a big hug. It was a heartwarming experience.

I love my new glasses but most of the time my vision is still blurry.

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Housekeeping

I've been able to shake the emotional and physical fatigue from the hospital stay last week. I was determined to make progress on some housekeeping chores and had a very productive weekend!

Katie helped me sort tons of laundry Friday evening and got a couple of loads started. Then we put away my summer shirts and discovered winter pajamas tucked away in the closet! My mom sent over a package of plastic shower curtain hangers and we made this scarf organizer. Matching my outfits each day will be much easier.

The next morning I felt rested and decided to return a couple of Christmas items. Katie and I shopped at four stores and had a nice lunch at Olive Garden. We returned home after six hours and she's the one who needed a nap!

Richard worked diligently on finishing the laundry. My Superman!

I got up early today and tackled the dust bunnies while the scrubbing bubbles went crazy in the bathroom. I'm so grateful for my family's support and now feel ready to begin another hectic work-week.

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I Came This Close

I came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon and can't tell you how wonderful it is to be here. This morning I was feeling a little melancholy when thinking about my nurses and how blessed I was to have their care.

I had my 10 day checkup with Doc today. She showed me how low all of my numbers were on Thursday and how they went up each day in the hospital. Today everything is normal. As I hopped back up on the table she asked who was responsible for getting me to finally call. I told her Richard dialed the number and put the phone in my hand and Carol made me promise the night before to go in for hydration. Doc turned and patted Richard on the shoulder and told him, "Good job." Then she looked at me and said, "If this happens to you again you will die." She walked over and hugged me. "Don't scare your oncologist like that."

Thank you Richard, Carol, and Doc Esther for saving my life.

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Just Kidding

Guess what I had for dinner?

The doc-on-call decided to torture me with hospital food a while longer. Looks like I will make my escape on Monday. The highlight of my day was my sister's visit, complete with a Frappe and french fries. Then my kids and husband for a couple more hours of family fun. They cracked me up!

Here is something else that cracked me up and thought I'd share. Housekeeping stopped by just as I was getting off the phone. She wanted to engage in some light conversation.
HK: "That sure is a big phone."
ME: "Yeah, my family just got it for me."
HK: "Well, it looks kinda funny holdin' a mini laptop up to your face like that."
ME: "Yeah, but my vision is getting worse and now I can see the screen."
HK: "I don't think I would buy one of those."
ME: "Well, my fingers were going numb and now I can text with the larger screen." (trying to defend my new phone as she pushes the mop into the bathroom.)

Housekeeping came back and continued to engage in more light conversation.
HK: "Well, look at this blanket! It sure is pretty and so soft."
ME: "Thanks, a neighbor girl made it for me."
HK: "You must really like pink. This blanket, that bag, your socks!"
I adjusted the scarf on my head. " Yeah, well now that I'm in the Breast Cancer Club it's my favorite color."
HK: "Ohhhhhh...."

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A Quart Low

This morning Doc Esther said I need to stay in the hospital another day and promised I could go home "this weekend". White blood count and blood pressure are too low so I am still receiving fluids this evening. My engine should be all tuned up and ready to go before long.

Remember  when I called myself a light weight and cheap date? Apparently alcohol isn't the only thing I metabolize differently. Doc said we will need to cut back on the chemo drugs by 20 %. I know!  I was alarmed also! I asked, "Will I need an additional dose?" No, I won't need an extra session and it will still be as powerful. Good!

My sister came up with a brilliant idea. I should think about my situation like I did when I was pregnant; pack  a bag just in case because I'll never know when I might go in the hospital unexpectedly. I called my daughter this morning with another list of "essentials" and Uncle Matt brought her to the hospital. We had a nice visit and when they left I had several things to occupy my time. (of which I seem to have tons).
When I go home I'm going to pack a bag of items that I won't miss; socks, under clothes, travel size grooming products, crafts. I will also put together a list of other items that my family can gather for me; medical binder, computer, phone charger. This way no one has to make an extra trip to bring items.

I honestly did not sleep last night and now I am struggling to keep my eyes open. Thank you Kriss, Linda, Jody and Vada for sending me special hugs. You can't imagine how much it really helps.

I am fighting like a girl - and this girl is going to get her beauty sleep! Good Night!

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Detour

It's been a week since chemo#3 and somehow all the plans I made to make this better backfired. I was getting worse by the day and called Doc this morning. I lost weight (absolutely forbidden in  chemo-land), couldn't walk without panting like a sick dog and would collapse at the drop of a hat. Doc gave me the eyeball test, ( said I looked like hell.) And then admitted me to the hospital for some fluid and antibiotics. That's when the adventure really began. They put me in the urology unit at 1:30. Because my husband  kept making calls, I finally got an IV at 5:30.  Tommy and Katie came to visit just in time to help me move to the oncology wing where I am being well cared for. I will probably go home tomorrow after Doc gives me the thumbs up. Thanks for all the hugs and prayers.

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