Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Boost

Yesterday, treatment was not-so-great. They had to take photos and set up a simulation for the "boost" ... then do the last of the "standard" treatment.  I had some tears leak from my eyes as I tried to deal with the pain of the position.  The placement for my forehead and chin still really hurts. The bottom edge of the rounded out hole presses against my lower rib.  (imagine all four fingers under your rib and pulling up).  The tech told me to take pain meds before coming, which I replied "I drive myself here and home. I can't take my pain meds."  She then said to take Tylenol, Advil or some type of OTC.

The day was full of all kinds of drama.  As a result, my youngest daughter has yet again walked out of our lives.  As much as she said she has changed, her true colors showed loud and clear who she really is.  It breaks a mother's heart.  I would rather be punched in the gut, shot in the heart or stabbed in the back than to witness her holy bible dumped in the trash can.  A very numbing day.


Today's treatment was just as long as yesterday's.  This time, I took a pain med right before I left work.  By the time I was clamped in, it helped somewhat.  The tech recommended that I take one for the next few treatments.  Today was more photos, films, whatever they were doing

PLUS my first BOOST

6 left!!!

After treatment, the doctor examined me.  I showed her the worst part, which is torn, raw skin in my cleavage. She gave me samples of the Aquaphor and actually apologized for what was happening to me from the treatments.  That was nice of her to say because it isn't her fault at all.  I'm doing well considering I didn't get major red until now and I only have a handful left.

For other news, I went to see my family doctor this morning regarding the MRI ordered because of the frequent headaches.  He wants a neurologist to take a look at the films and assess to rule out things .... oh, when they say that, do I really want to know what "things"?  Guess there are some questions regarding my white matter and my gray matter.  The radiologist that ordered the test mentioned these "matters" to me, but I really wasn't following what he was talking about.

Then Doc W threw me a curve ball. MS.  Really? What is multiple-sclerosis?

The other possibility is migraine headaches.  That's believable, considering I use to get them all the time.

Then, of course, it could be stress headaches.  I mean, the past 8 months have been quite a lot to take in. (but I thought I have been handling it pretty well, considering)

I can't really put into words what I'm feeling right now because I'm still processing it all.  It would be great to get answers to troubling aches and pains .... but then sometimes I feel "do I really want to know?"

Doc W said it is good to find things early. 

That is true.

Neurologist is July 26


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